Crossing the Goal: Leading the Discussion

Leading a discussion is like playing quarterback - no matter what your skill set you've got to be team oriented.  You've got to keep everyone involved, even create opportunities for other players to shine.  To be successful, you can't carry the team on your back.  You certainly can't keep the ball to yourself.  You might even need a bit of Christian humility.

Your job as the leader is to get people to talk - no matter how wrong you think they are.
You have to show them that you want to hear from everyone.
How do you do that?  Well, it's easy, if you keep a few things in mind.

1. Ask open-ended questions.

That means questions that don't have a single answer.
For example, this is not an open-ended question: "Who was the first Bishop of Rome?" 
The answer is Peter.  No need for more discussion.

But this is an open-ended question: 'Why would Christ choose Peter to lead his Church?" 
If your group has been reading about Peter, you'll know what an interesting character he is, and there will be plenty of different ideas for answering the question.

As a general rule, questions that start with "why" or "how" are good open-ended questions.
Questions that start with "who" or "when" might not be.  There are lots of exceptions to this rule, and, once your instincts are good, you'll ignore it completely.  But it's somewhere to start.

2. Keep the discussion on track.

The way to do that is not by telling people to stop getting off track, even when they've gone completely off the rails.  Instead, try to remember what people have said and use that to bring the discussion back.

It's easy to do:  "But I don't think we ever answered John's question about Peter's denial."
Or: "What you’re saying about Atlanta reminds me of what Bob said about walking on water."

3. Look for things that will get the quiet people talking.

Even quiet people like to talk about things that interest them. You can usually find something to relate to people's own experience. For example: "Well, Herb, I know you sail on the lake a lot. Would you just step out of your boat if someone told you to?"

If you get people talking about things they love to talk about anyway and you can relate those things to the topic at hand, you'll be surprised what wonderful insights you'll hear.

4. "Judge not, let ye be judged."

In this series, we're going to talk about some sensitive topics - things no one is comfortable talking about. Dark secrets might come out. You might find out that someone you thought you knew well is addicted to illegal drugs, for example.

Resist the urge to be judgmental. If people in the group feel comfortable enough to tell their darkest secrets, they've already taken the first big step to overcoming those sins.  You can help your friend the drug addict get his life back on track - but only if you don't push him away.

5. Have a good time.

You can have fun and still get a serious discussion going. If people are laughing and having a good time, that doesn't mean they're not serious about the topic. If you can keep the discussion on track and still have a few laughs, that's great.  The more fun people have in these discussions, the more likely they are to come back for the next one.

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